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Alternative theories of gravity are popular alternatives to the LCDM model because they can self-accelerate without a cosmological constant. On smaller scales, consistency with solar system tests of gravity is achieved by utilising screening mechanisms, which act to hide fifth-forces locally. This makes them difficult to distinguish from general relativity. In this talk I will describe recent work using astrophysical objects---stars, galaxies, and clusters---as new and novel probes of alternative gravity theories.