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Cornering Gluinos at the LHC

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Gluinos are expected to be light for a natural electroweak scale, but the LHC has not seen them yet. Many possibilities have been proposed to hide natural gluinos in the LHC data, but are these methods really effective? In this talk, I will discuss the current status of kinematically accessible gluinos. By noting the most common features - MET, tops, and high multiplicity - which pervade natural gluino decays, I will argue that there are few places left to hide. I will briefly discuss the remaining weaknesses in LHC coverage and how to bolster them.